I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
