How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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