So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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