Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize