were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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