And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize