i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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