Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This house was built for laser tag.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
