between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
