Fuck appropriateness.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
