no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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