the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize