small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
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The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
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In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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