Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize