How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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