so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the day after is always just damage control
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize