I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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