So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!