She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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