He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
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That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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