Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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