wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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