until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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