I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize