Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
