Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
