she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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