How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize