the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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