Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
