sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
