Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
