People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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