Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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