its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
