that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
