I'm really into asian looking animals
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Screwed.edu
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
