The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
