So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
