Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
