My hand turned me down
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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