Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can't turn off my feet"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
