lets start a swedish sibling band together
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
