she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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