I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
