I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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