1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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