The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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