Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
