so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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