No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I cut my penus on the lid.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
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PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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