My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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