She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
this hospital has no fireball
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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