Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
