Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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