woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize