I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
