He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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