i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
